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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22686367">Geralt and Jaskier vs the PTA</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkystarks/pseuds/snarkystarks'>snarkystarks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5 + 1 times, Fluff, Geralt gets hit on, Geralt is not happy about it, Jaskier and Geralt are Ciri's dads, Jaskier and Geralt are disaster parents, Jaskier and Geralt join the PTA, Jaskier gets hit on, Jaskier just wants to be normal, M/M, Modern AU, Roach is a cat?, Smut, and to fuck in their massive bathtub</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:56:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22686367</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkystarks/pseuds/snarkystarks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaskier, Geralt and Ciri move to a new town. Sick of moving around, Jaskier insists on them joining the PTA in an effort to fit in and be normal. It does not go well.</p><p>OR: The 5 times Geralt and Jaskier tried to be a part of the PTA and the 1 time Jaskier said fuck it and they blew the popsicle stand.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>625</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I see Ciri as being like 11 or 12 in this. Geralt and Jaskier move a lot for their jobs and they make a point of being upfront and honest with Ciri about a lot of things so she's going to come across as pretty mature and blunt about certain things.</p><p>This first chapter just sets up the fic and doesn't actually count towards the 5 + 1. </p><p>Also there is smut in this chapter so if you're not into that sorry?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I can’t find my shoe!”</p><p>Jaskier stops rummaging through the pile of papers scattered across the kitchen island. “What do you mean you can’t find your shoe?”</p><p>Ciri walks into the kitchen. Her right shoe is on but her left foot is bare except for her white knee high sock. “My shoe is gone.”</p><p>“How can your shoe be gone? Didn’t I tell you to put your clothes out last night?”</p><p>“I did,” she insists. “But when I woke up this morning the left one was gone.”</p><p>“We don’t have time for this. Just put on different shoes.”</p><p>“My other shoes won’t match my outfit,” whines Ciri.</p><p>Jaskier takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself. “Ask your father then.”</p><p>Ciri stomps off out of the room and Jaskier tries to not be amused by how silly she looks. Right now he doesn’t have time to help her find her missing shoe, he’s too busy trying to find the last document they need to drop off at the school office.</p><p>To say he is now regretting their ambitious moving plans would be an understatement. It’s not their first move. Hell, it’s not even their first cross country relocation. Between Geralt and Jaskier’s jobs they’ve moved more than dozen times in the last eight years and this time they’d foolishly assumed that they’d be able to drive their moving van of essentials to the new house on the Saturday and be ready for Ciri to go off to school on the following Monday.</p><p>A miscalculation that might leave Jaskier with grey hair by the end of the day.</p><p>Geralt thunders down the stairs and begins to rifle through the mess on the bench. Jaskier frowns. “I don’t think Ciri’s shoe is on the bench.”</p><p>Geralt gives him a confused look. “Why would I be looking for Ciri’s shoe? I can’t find the car keys.”</p><p>Jaskier looks up at the ceiling and prays to Melitele that she might save them. Or just be done with it and strike them down. “Did you check in the laundry room?”</p><p>“Why would they be in the laundry room?”</p><p>“Because every time you pull something out of the dryer you leave your phone on top of the dryer and forget about it. You pulled my jeans out this morning for me when you came back from the gym.”</p><p>Geralt walks out of the room and quickly comes back with his keys in hand. “Okay, what were you saying about Ciri’s shoe?”</p><p>“Thank you, Jaskier,” Jaskier says pointedly.</p><p>Geralt presses Jaskier up against the fridge and gives him a harsh kiss, hand sliding down Jaskier’s side and around to squeeze his ass. “Thanks, Jas.”</p><p>Jaskier pecks Geralt before he pushes him away. “Ciri can’t find her left shoe. It’s her red converse.”</p><p>Geralt nods and heads upstairs leaving Jaskier to flip through all the paperwork on the bench again. He doesn’t understand how they’ve managed to accumulate so much paperwork in the two days they’ve been in the new house. They aren’t the most organised people at home but this, this is bad even for them.</p><p>“Found it!” Ciri yells triumphantly.</p><p>“Two out of three is good,” Jaskier mutters to himself. “Two out of three is good.”</p><p>Ciri throws herself down the last few stairs and lands like a cat on the floor. “Dad found it in the bathtub.”</p><p>“I’m not even going to ask.”</p><p>“Wise choice,” Geralt says. “What are you looking for?”</p><p>“The consent form that we signed so that Ciri can take the bus with the other kids to excursions and sports events.”</p><p>“Can’t we just have the administration people print the form out again?”</p><p>They could but it wouldn’t be making the best impression on Ciri’s first day. “I saw it last night, Geralt. It was right here on the bench.”</p><p>“We can either keep looking or we can be on time.”</p><p>Jaskier sighs. “Fuck it. We’ll just be the wildly unorganised and irresponsible parents at this school.”</p><p>“Fuck it!” Ciri giggles.</p><p>“No talking like that on school grounds or in front of any adults that aren’t Yen or Triss,” Geralt warns her.</p><p>“I won’t, dad.”</p><p>Ciri looks about as chastised as the cat when it is being told to move and Jaskier finds himself questioning their decision making skills for the umpteenth time that morning.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>They are ambushed as soon as they walk into the administration office by a short brunette woman.</p><p>“This must be Cirilla,” she says. “I’m Mrs Hannigan, the year co-ordinator for Cirilla’s grade.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you,” Ciri says politely.</p><p>“I’m Jaskier and this is Geralt,” Jaskier introduces them. “We’re Ciri’s parents.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you both.” The woman turns to Ciri. “We can leave your parents here if you like and I can show you where your classroom is?”</p><p>Ciri looks at them questioningly. “Is that okay?”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Jaskier assures her. “At least one of us will be waiting out the front for you when the bell rings this afternoon.”</p><p>Ciri nods and follows the teacher out of the office. She’s a veteran at this point when it comes to being the new kid at school and Jaskier can’t quite remember when the emotional first day goodbyes stopped. He misses them but he wouldn’t trade her confidence for a teary hug any day of the week. She has worked hard to become the self assured young girl that she is.</p><p>“It’s always hard to see them go,” the administration lady comments fondly.</p><p>Geralt rolls his eyes. “It’s only six hours.”</p><p>Jaskier elbows Geralt in the side and leans over the administration desk to smile at the woman. “I’m sorry to trouble you but in the chaos of this morning, first day you know how it is, we seem to have misplaced the bus form?”</p><p>The woman pushes her tortoise shell glasses up her nose. “I’ll print you out another one.”</p><p>“That would be amazing,” he says. “I swear we’re normally pretty good about this kind of stuff but this move has been been a lot on all of us and I knew if we didn’t send her off today we’d never do it.” Geralt coughs next to him and Jaskier deliberately steps on his foot.</p><p>The woman smiles sympathetically and pats his hand. “I know how it is, I’ve got three of my own.”</p><p>“Do you have any advice for us?”</p><p>“The drop off pick up zone is a nightmare but there is a teacher on duty until half past so if you try to pick her up a little later you’ll miss most of the chaos.”</p><p>That’s actually pretty good advice. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind this afternoon.”</p><p>The lady hands the bus form to him and Jaskier slides it over to Geralt to fill out. He hates filling out paperwork with a fiery passion and Geralt’s hand writing might not be quite as nice as his but he’s less likely to mess up and fill the form out incorrectly.</p><p>Geralt slides the form back and just as Jaskier finishes signing his name on the dotted line the door to the office opens and a red haired woman in designer athletic wear walks into the room.</p><p>“Is that a new student I saw with Mrs Hannigan?” Her eyes light up as she takes in Geralt. “You must be the new father! I’m Rachel Walker, head of the PTA.”</p><p>Geralt looks at Jaskier in confusion. “Geralt. Ciri’s father. This is Jaskier, Ciri’s dad.”</p><p>Rachel looks stunned for a moment before she composes herself. “How wonderful! That’s something new and exciting for us at the school. You’ll be joining the PTA, I hope?”</p><p>Jaskier nods. “Of course. We try to be as hands on as possible with Ciri’s school life.”</p><p>“Lovely! The next meeting is on Wednesday night. We meet every fortnight at seven in the hall where they conduct assembly. You can formally introduce yourselves to everyone then so we can all get to know you.”</p><p>“We’ll be there with bells on,” Jaskier smiles.</p><p>Rachel claps her hands happily. “Fantastic. I have to go chase up one of the teachers but I’m sure I’ll see one of you this afternoon at pick up.”</p><p>Geralt looks like he would rather do anything else and Jaskier sighs, pulling him by the hand out of the office. “Lets go grocery shopping.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Geralt glares at Jaskier. “Why did you sign us up for the PTA?”</p><p>“Because that is what normal people do, Geralt,” Jaskier says. “They join PTAs and go to sports carnivals and make friends with the other parents at drop off in the morning.”</p><p>“You’re a musician and I work private security. We don’t do normal.”</p><p>“What if I want to be normal for a little bit?” Jaskier asks. “Is normal so bad?” Geralt grumbles and Jaskier leans over the centre console and presses a kiss to the sharp edge of his jaw. A red light on one of the main roads isn’t really the place to be starting something he can’t finish but Jaskier can’t help himself. “You know what normal people do, Geralt? They celebrate buying their new home by fucking on every piece of furniture they own.”</p><p>Geralt looks less annoyed but still grumbles, “We don’t even have a kitchen table and I’m not fucking you on the couch where we watch movies with Ciri.”</p><p>“That’s fair,” Jaskier agrees, hand sliding suggestively up Geralt’s thigh. “But we’ve got the kitchen bench, our bed, the shower and we’re finally living in a house with a bathtub big enough for the both of us. That’s a good start, I’d say.”</p><p>Geralt squeezes Jaskier’s hand. “Okay. Normal.”</p><p>It takes them half the time to get home that it did to get to school and Jaskier’s not sure if it’s because his body is thrumming with anticipation or if Geralt is committing multiple traffic violations. Either way, they get home in one piece and without getting pulled over by the police.</p><p>They wait until they get inside to put their hands all over each other because they’re not in their twenties anymore and Jaskier really doesn’t want to make a bad impression on their new neighbours. Geralt’s shirt comes off immediately in one fluid motion and is left on the floor in the front entryway. Jaskier’s shirt falls to the floor soon after as Geralt backs him into the kitchen, kissing him deeply. He’s not as graceful as Geralt about it but Geralt doesn’t care if the way he grips Jaskier’s ass is any indication.</p><p>They manage to make it into the kitchen without walking into anything and Geralt crowds him up against the kitchen island. Jaskier wraps his arms around Geralt’s neck and he groans when Geralt’s hands move down to grab under his ass. Jaskier holds on tightly as Geralt hauls him up effortlessly and drops him down onto the kitchen island.</p><p>The marble countertop is cold and hard beneath him and Jaskier spreads his legs so Geralt can stand between them, wrapping his legs around Geralt’s waist to pull him in as close as possible. He slides one hand up across Geralt’s chest while his other hand winds around the thick strands of Geralt’s hair.</p><p>Geralt bites at Jaskier’s jaw and he tugs Geralt’s hair in retaliation. They have rules about this sort of shit. Geralt isn’t allowed to just mark Jaskier up whenever he likes. Jaskier might be able to work from home most of the time but he can’t have bite marks and hickies everywhere just because Geralt’s feeling a little bite happy.</p><p>“Geralt, I swear to Melitele if you leave any marks on me I will leave you to the mercy of the pick up zone this afternoon and I’ll make you introduce us at the PTA meeting.”</p><p>“I thought you wanted to stay in this town for a while,” Geralt grumbles as he nips down Jaskier’s throat.</p><p>“I do,” Jaskier pants. “I really, really do.” They’ve got a good house in a good neighbourhood and Jaskier really, really wants to fuck in their bathtub at least twice before they have to move again.</p><p>Geralt backs off a little and Jaskier whines as he is forced to unwrap his legs. He can hear his heart racing in his ears even over his panting breaths and he bites his lip as he watches Geralt quickly undo his belt. It, and Geralt’s jeans, hit the kitchen tiles with a clank and Jaskier looks down at his own jeans.</p><p>“We didn’t think this through.”</p><p>“I thought it through plenty.”</p><p>Jaskier startles a little when Geralt presses him back until he is lying flat on his back on the counter. Geralt pulls his hips a little and Jaskier squeaks when he feels the edge of the island dig into his ass. Geralt’s hands quickly attack his belt and it’s a little rough but before he knows it Jaskier’s jeans and underwear have joined his husband’s on the floor.</p><p>“I’m going to blow you and then I’m going to fuck you on this bench.” Geralt bites at Jaskier’s hip. “And after that when you start complaining about needing a shower I’m going to take you in the bath as well. Is that thought through enough?”</p><p>“Yes,” he gasps, pulling Geralt’s hair. “Great plan-”</p><p>The rest of the words get caught in his throat when Geralt finally puts his mouth on Jaskier’s cock.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>They end up almost being late for pick up, pulling into the pick up zone at three twenty eight and when Ciri looks at them she sighs. “Did you guys go grocery shopping or did you just have sex all day?”</p><p>Jaskier hides his face in his hands and questions, yet again, every decision they’ve made up to this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Book Week</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ciri forgets about Book Week and takes a few years off Jaskier's life.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This ran away from me. It grew legs and absolutely legged it. This was meant to be funny and cracky and it's turning into monster.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Jaskier reaches out and tangles his fingers with Geralt’s, chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. For all his strength and muscles, Geralt isn’t in much better shape and for a minute all Jaskier can hear is the sound of their ragged, uneven breaths. He feels boneless, like he is slowly sinking into their mattress and if Jaskier closed his eyes he is sure he could fall asleep.</p><p>“We can never move somewhere we can’t take this bed.”</p><p>Geralt looks at him. “That’s what you’re thinking about? I just made you come three times.”</p><p>Jaskier’s dick is acutely aware just how many times Geralt made him come. “I’d return the favour but I think I need a few more minutes for my brain to reconnect to my body.”</p><p>Geralt chuckles and pulls their interwoven hands up so he can kiss Jaskier’s fingers. “You seem happier.”</p><p>“Mind blowing orgasms do that to a person.”</p><p>“You know what I mean.”</p><p>And Jaskier does. Geralt isn’t stupid, Jaskier’s husband knows that their little slice of suburbia here has lifted a weight off Jaskier’s shoulders that he hadn’t even known was there. “I don’t mind that we move a lot for work, I really don’t, but there’s something about this.” He gestures to their room. “We own a house, Geralt, an actual house with a mortgage and a backyard. I know it’s not going to be for ever but I’m going to enjoy it while I can.”</p><p>“Do you want me to slow down? I can find longer contracts?”</p><p>Jaskier disentangles their hands and curls up into Geralt’s side. “No. One day I want to have a proper break with you by the coast but not until Ciri’s off at University. I want to enjoy this while it lasts.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>Their moment of peace is interrupted by a bang on the door and Ciri yelling out. “Dad! We forgot about Book Week.”</p><p>Jaskier looks at Geralt. “She said dad.”</p><p>Geralt gives him an unimpressed look. “She calls both of us dad. Besides, weren’t you just saying that you wanted to enjoy this?”</p><p>“Daaaaaaaaad! We need to go to the store.”</p><p>Jaskier hides his face in Geralt’s neck and sighs. “Shit.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“When does the costume need to be done by, Ciri?” Jaskier asks.</p><p>Ciri tries to make herself smaller and looks down at the bench as she says, “Tomorrow.”</p><p>“Tomorrow?” Jaskier wails hysterically.</p><p>“Why didn’t we get a note?” Geralt asks, flipping bacon on the stove. “They send a million fucking notes home for everything else.”</p><p>“I used it to make a paper ball to play with Roach,” Ciri admits. “And then I forgot about it.”</p><p>“Tomorrow,” Jaskier repeats.</p><p>Geralt slides a plate of bacon, eggs and buttered toast across the island until it sits in front of his husband. “It’s going to be fine, Jas, she can go in her tiger onsie or something.”</p><p>Ciri shakes her head. “We have to go as a character from a book, dad.”</p><p>“So just say you’re Tigger from Winnie the Pooh or something.”</p><p>“I’m eleven, not three.”</p><p>Geralt drops her breakfast in front of Ciri and gives her an unimpressed look. “You’re not going to make it to twelve if you don’t stop stressing your dad out like this.”</p><p>“Are you allowed to say stuff like that to me?”</p><p>Jaskier finishes swallowing a mouthful of bacon. “It’s fine, Ciri, we’ll just go shopping today. We’ve done Book Week before.”</p><p>Ciri shook her head. “You should see the pictures from last year, dad, some of the parents at this school are insane. Lucy went as Hermione Granger last year and her mom got professionally made wizard robes done and she took her to the hairdresser to get her hair done.”</p><p>Jaskier wants to be surprised but he’s really, really not. Lucy is the daughter of the head of the PTA and as far as he can tell, her mother doesn’t think twice about the price tag of school related things. “We’ll do our best. Who do you want to go as?”</p><p>“Katniss.”</p><p>“I like it.” Jaskier nods. Katniss isn’t the character he had expected her to choose but it’s easy enough to pull off last minute and he is pretty sure that’s exactly why Ciri chose it.</p><p>Ciri grins. “And I’ll get to take my bow to school!”</p><p>“No arrows,” Geralt says immediately. “You can take your old practice bow. I don’t want to get a call from the office about you having a deadly weapon.”</p><p>“I agree, we don’t need to police being called on you.”</p><p>Ciri bites into her toast. “Fine.”</p><p>“Don’t eat with your mouth full,” Geralt chastises.</p><p>“I’m not,” Ciri argues, her mouth full of bread.</p><p>Jaskier ignores them both and slips a piece of bacon to Roach who is rubbing up against his leg on the ground. Roach smells the meat and sneezes before attacking it with her teeth. “Good boy.”</p><p>Geralt turns away from the stove. “What?”</p><p>Jaskier coughs, almost choking on his coffee. “Not you.”</p><p>“Why would dad be a good boy?” Ciri asks.</p><p>Jaskier quickly changes the subject by leaning over to pinch a piece of bacon from her plate. “Dad told you to stop talking with your mouth full.”</p><p>“No fair!”</p><p>“Life isn’t fair. Hurry up and eat so we can go shopping for costume supplies.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>It takes two seconds of googling for Jaskier to realise that the Big Box store with the best chance of having everything they need is in the next town over. He sends Ciri up to her room to get changed and starts dumping their dirty dishes into the sink, flinching a little when the hot soapy water splashes his hands a little.</p><p>“You don’t want to come with us?” He asks, turning towards Geralt.</p><p>Geralt shakes his head. “I’ve got things to do.”</p><p>“I’m sure you do.”</p><p>“It won’t take you that long,” Geralt says, kissing Jaskier slowly. “You’ll have more fun without me and I’ll actually get a chance to put the cat door in for Roach without having to worry about either of you needing a trip to the ER.”</p><p>“We’re not that bad.” Jaskier pouts.</p><p>“No,” Geralt agrees. “You’re much worse.”</p><p>Jaskier twists his fingers in the material of Geralt’s shirt and pulls him back in for another kiss. “I hope you know I’m taking Roach if we ever get a divorce.”</p><p>Geralt snorts. “You think she’d go with you?”</p><p>“I’ve been slipping her food every day for, what, three years now? And none of the bad shit either, it’s all the vet approved good stuff. I think she’d come with me.”</p><p>“You’re ridiculous.”</p><p>“Ridiculously ridiculous.” Jaskier kisses him again. “And totally in love with you so this is all a hypothetical conversation.”</p><p>“What’s hypothetical?” Ciri asks from the doorway.</p><p>“We’re talking about who gets Roach if your dad and I break up,” Jaskier answers. “Which won’t ever be happening, by the way, so don’t be concerned. You’re stuck with us forever.”</p><p>Ciri looks at Roach who is stretched out in the sun on the tiles. “She’s kind of an asshole though.”</p><p>Jaskier beams. “I know! Do you think we could train her to dig up the neighbours flowers?”</p><p>Geralt rolls his eyes. “Don’t you need to leave if you’re going to the next town over?”</p><p>Jaskier sighs. “I suppose. Let’s go, kiddo. First to the car gets to choose the playlist.”</p><p>Ciri runs out of the kitchen and Jaskier goes to take after her but feels himself getting pulled back by Geralt. His breathing stops when Geralt kisses him again, this time softly. He blinks and gives Geralt a petulant look. “That’s cheating.”</p><p>“You both like the same kind of music.”</p><p>“It’s the principle!”</p><p>“She’s eleven.”</p><p>“<em>The principle, Geralt.</em>”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Jaskier leans sideways and looks at their cat. “I love you too, Roach.”</p><p>Geralt pushes him away with a fond smile and Jaskier pecks him on the cheek before walking out of the house. Ciri is already strapped into the passenger seat with his phone in her hands when he gets to the car. He turns the engine on and buckles up, barely out of the driveway before Kelly Clarkson is playing through the car speakers.</p><p>They get ten kilometres from the house before Jaskier looks at Ciri out of the corner of his eye. “Can you text your dad and tell him I love him?”</p><p>Ciri mimes throwing up but does it anyway and Jaskier makes a mental note to buy her ice cream on the way home.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Dad, that’s Eric over there. Can I go talk to him?”</p><p>Jaskier gives her a look because, really, they’ve only being shopping for fifteen minutes, but gestures her to go on because Eric’s mum is probably the only parent he really likes from her class and if Eric’s there she’s probably nearby.</p><p>He’s right. Jaskier finds her an isle over with a toddler on her hip and a six year old grabbing toys off the shelves left, right and centre. Her red hair is a mess, frizzy and falling out of her ponytail. She looks exhausted and Jaskier is once again secure in the decision he and Geralt made years ago about Ciri being more than enough for them.</p><p>“Olivia?”</p><p>Olivia immediately relaxes when she sees him. “Oh thank god. I knew I was going to run into someone here and you have no idea how glad I am it’s just you.”</p><p>Jaskier smiles. “I guess I’m not the only one who wasn’t told about Book Week until today?”</p><p>“Oh, I knew about it,” Olivia huffs, shifting her toddler onto her other hip. “But, you know, I’ve got a teenage daughter, Eric and these two. I swore I was going to be different last year.”</p><p>“It happens. Do you need help?”</p><p>“Validation? I’m seriously considering just sending Tyler in tomorrow in his Spiderman pyjamas. Spiderman counts right?”</p><p>“Totally,” Jaskier agrees. “He’s from a comic book and comic books have words so it counts.”</p><p>“Thank god. I wish that would work on Eric.”</p><p>Jaskier laughed. “Geralt tried to tell Ciri she could just go in her tiger onsie and pretend to be Tigger from Winnie the Pooh.”</p><p>“I can imagine what she thought of that.” Olivia’s smile falls as she pulls a biscuit from seemingly out of nowhere to give to her grumbling toddler. “Do you know what I hate about these kinds of things?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“How bad I feel. All the parents are so competitive and I feel like I’m sending my kids to school in crappy costumes while Rachel and the others get all their kids stuff tailored. I have four kids and a Labrador. I don’t have the time or the money for that kind of stuff. I’m just so grateful that my oldest thinks all of this is lame.”</p><p>Jaskier laughs. “I’m not looking forward to the day Ciri says the same about us.”</p><p>“She’ll get over it when she realises that being a teenager doesn’t mean you actually know how to deal with adult things. You’ve got at least a few years yet before that emotional rollercoaster kicks in.”</p><p>Jaskier tries to file that away for when the time comes because he knows there’s going to be more than a few tears when they get to that part of Ciri’s adolescent. “Don’t feel bad about what you’re doing, Olivia. I couldn’t do what you do. Just do your best with what you’ve got and I’ll stick up for you, even if it’s just over the Spiderman pyjamas.”</p><p>Olivia sniffs. “You’re never allowed to leave.”</p><p>“Eventually we’ll have to. The store closes at eight.”</p><p>“Sorry! I’m holding you up, aren’t I?”</p><p>“It’s okay. We’re meant to be here getting her outfit pieces so she can go as Katniss but Ciri got a little distracted by Eric.” Jaskier feels a little proud right now even though he’s feeling far too old. “Getting distracted by boys seems to be a genetic thing.”</p><p>Olivia laughs. “I don’t blame you for getting distracted. Geralt is a catch. I don’t think my husband ever looked like that.”</p><p>“He puts the work in. Ciri’s pretty disciplined with her training schedule too. You can probably tell which dad she got that from.”</p><p>“Hey, you’re pretty cute too,” she says, bumping shoulders with him playfully.</p><p>Jaskier pretends to swoon. “A compliment from a pretty lady? Wait until Geralt hears about this. He’ll be practically barbaric in his jealously.”</p><p>“Don’t even start with that. I’m pretty sure this shirt has toddler drool on it.”</p><p>“It gives it character.”</p><p>Olivia snorts and then looks down at Tyler. “Tyler put those toys back or you won’t be going to Molly’s birthday party next week so help me God.”</p><p>Jaskier’s surprised when Tyler actually complies. “That works?”</p><p>“I mean they think you’re bluffing until you actually make them go to the party, hand the present over and explain why they can’t stay.”</p><p>“Brutal,” he says. “I like it.”</p><p>Olivia shrugs. “I’ve only really had to do it to Jasmine and Eric.”</p><p>“Speaking of Eric, I should probably find him and drag my daughter off and get all our shopping done.”</p><p>Olivia sighs. “Any suggestions for Eric?”</p><p>“Dress him up as Ron Weasley? All you really need is awhite button up shirt, black plants, grey-ish jumper and a stick thick enough to pass as a wand?”</p><p>Olivia bites her lip. “Would he go for that?”</p><p>Jaskier shrugs. “You can tell him Ciri really likes Harry Potter if that helps?”</p><p>“You’re a life saver, Jaskier.”</p><p>Jaskier smiles. “Don’t thank me until you see me tomorrow and tell me he agreed to it.”</p><p>“Oh, trust me,” she says resolutely. “he’s going to agree with it.”</p><p>Jaskier waves goodbye and goes off to find Ciri, wondering if Olivia’s confidence is a thing someone gets when their kid reaches a certain age or if he and Geralt would have to acquire another three kids before being gifted with the self-assurance of a woman outnumbered four to one, with not enough time and even less caffeine in her system.</p><p>By the time he finds Ciri who is looking at the skateboards with Eric he decides he’s fine with the amount of confidence he currently has.</p><p>“Ciri! We need to get moving if you want to actually be Katniss tomorrow. Olivia and I have decided we’re just going to send you both off tomorrow in your pyjamas if the shopping doesn’t get done.”</p><p>“Bye, Eric,” Ciri smiles. “See you tomorrow at the gate?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eric blushes and looks away. “Uh, bye Ciri’s dad.”</p><p>“Bye, Eric.” Jaskier watches him walk away before he turns to give Ciri a grin. “Does someone have a crush?”</p><p>Ciri’s cheeks go bright red. “Shut up, Dad! You’re embarrassing me.”</p><p>Jaskier laughs. “I was talking about Eric but I’m always here if you want to talk to me about anything.”</p><p>“Dad, we need to get going.” Ciri grabs Jaskier’s arm and starts to pull him away from the skateboards. “The shoe section is over this way and I need new boots.”</p><p>Jaskier rolls his eyes at how his daughter is suddenly so determined to get their shopping done but allows her to pull him all the way to the shoe section. He even pretends to not notice the way she keeps looking around almost as if she was trying to catch a glimpse of someone.</p><p>-</p><p>“Dad.” Ciri grabs Jaskier’s hand and looks at him in the mirror, worried. “What if it doesn’t come out?”</p><p>Jaskier smiles at her. “Would I do something bad to your hair?”</p><p>“Do you remember the hair cut I had in fourth grade? Because my school pictures sure do.”</p><p>“It’s just hair chalk. We did this last summer when we put pink streaks in your hair.”</p><p>Ciri touches the ends of her blonde hair. “But it’s so dark.”</p><p>“It’s just going to make your hair go brown for the day,” he reminds her. “And when you get home tonight I’ll help you wash it all out.”</p><p>“Promise?”</p><p>Jaskier wraps his arms around her and squeezes her. “I promise it’ll be fine. You’ll be back to looking like Geralt before bedtime.”</p><p>Ciri lets out a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s do it.”</p><p>“That’s my girl.”</p><p>Jaskier sections off her hair and tries to remember how he did this back in college for a friend. He loosely braids the half he isn’t working with and uses an alligator clip to pin half of the left side of Ciri’s hair on top of her head. He applies the chalk to a small section first and when he’s happy with it he takes a photo of it and gives his phone to Ciri. “Is the colour good or do I need to open up the other one?”</p><p>Ciri shakes her head. “No, it looks right. Is this going to take long?”</p><p>Jaskier smiles at her. He knows she’s a little anxious about her hair and even more anxious that they might be late for school. “Why don’t you put on some music while I get this done real quick?”</p><p>“What song?”</p><p>“Hmmmm… Toxic?”</p><p>Ciri searches up the song on Spotify and soon enough they’re both singing along to Britney Spears. Jaskier works quickly and methodically through all her hair and by the time he’s done he hardly recognises her in the mirror. She’s still Ciri, always their Ciri, but it answers the little question he’s always had about what she would look like if she looked less like Geralt and more like him. It’s a silly thing to think about, she’s not actually genetically related to either of them, but it makes him feel a little warm inside.</p><p>“You look beautiful. Now sit still and let me braid it so we can go show your Dad how great you look in this outfit.”</p><p>Ciri obediently sits still and Jaskier tries to be as gentle as he can with her hair as he works. He watched all of five tutorials on how to do the Katniss braid last night before he and Geralt turned off the lights and he really hopes he doesn’t fuck it up. They’ve got time on their hands but not the kind of time that would let him re-do Ciri’s hair without panicking.</p><p>He sighs in relief when he finishes, tying off her hair with a hairband. “Done! Give me my phone so I can take another picture?”</p><p>Ciri hands it over and he takes a snap. She looks at it carefully and spins around on the stool to hug him. “Thank you, Dad! I promise to never do this to you again.”</p><p>Jaskier snorts. “Sure. Go show Geralt so we can get to school and you can knock the socks off all the other kids.”</p><p>Ciri bounds off and Jaskier leaves the mess on the bathroom counter to deal with later. He follows her into the living room and sees Geralt handing over her bow.</p><p>Jaskier leans against the doorframe. “Doesn’t she look ready to win a tournament, dear?”</p><p>Geralt nods. “Just no actual fights to the death.” Geralt looks over Ciri’s head at Jaskier. “That goes for the both of you.”</p><p>“Do I look like the person who would start a fight to the death in a school parking lot?”</p><p>Geralt gives him a look. “Yes.”</p><p>Ciri giggles. “Are you coming to pick me up this afternoon, Dad?”</p><p>“Not today, I’m working late,” Geralt answers. “But I’ll have my phone on me in case someone needs to contact me.”</p><p>Jaskier knows exactly what Geralt is implying with those words and he clutches at his chest dramatically before pulling a laughing Ciri behind him out to the car.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>Ciri is, predictably, a hit at school. All the girls are oohing over her elaborate braid and the boys are asking about her bow. Jaskier is pleasantly surprised to see one or two of Ciri’s female classmates asking about her bow too.</p><p>He sees Olivia trudging through the school gate with Hudson in a pram and little Tyler running around pretending to shoot things with his imaginary web. “Hey, Liv!”</p><p>Olivia leans against the school fence next to him and hands her phone over to the toddler in the pram who immediately becomes immersed in the Peppa Pig episode playing on the screen. “You did a great job with her.”</p><p>“Thanks.” He looks around for Eric.“How is Ron Weasley?”</p><p>“Better than last year. I had to remind him all the cool stuff Ron ended up doing by the end of the series but he still wants to be Charlie next year.”</p><p>Jaskier shrugs in understanding. “It’s the whole dragons thing. Kind of hard to beat.”</p><p>“Is that a real bow?” She asks.</p><p>“Just her old practice bow. She hasn’t used it in over a year. Geralt got her a better one for her birthday so we agreed she could bring this one. No arrows, of course.”</p><p>“Archery is an interesting hobby. How did she get into it?”</p><p>Jaskier is halfway through telling the story of how Ciri was introduced to archery when Rachel walks over with a group of mothers behind her. She looks outraged and Jaskier can take a stab at what has her so unhappy. Olivia nudges him gently and he lets out a sigh and puts on his cheeriest <em>fuck you </em>face.</p><p>“Rachel! How are you this lovely morning?”</p><p>“Jaskier, we have a problem.”</p><p>Jaskier pretends to be shocked. “We do? Is it about the gold coin donation? Ciri put a ten dollar note in the bucket. Was that not allowed?”</p><p>“Your child has a weapon on school grounds,” Rachel says sternly. “It’s against school policy and you need to take it off school property or she’ll be asked to go home for the day.”</p><p>Jaskier frowns. “It’s an old bow that isn’t functional because she doesn’t have any arrows? It’s little more than a really, really good prop.”</p><p>“Weapons aren’t allowed on school grounds.”</p><p>Jaskier looks around and takes quick note of all the kids he can currently see in the immediate area. “So you’ll be sending home the others then too?”</p><p>“What others?” Rachel asks.</p><p>“I see more than a few pirates with swords and a knight. There’s even a pretty awesome Aquaman with a trident. Are you going to ask them to go home too?”</p><p>Rachel stops. “No.”</p><p>“And I agree with your decision on that.” He smiles sweetly. “Because it’s Book Week and we want to encourage the spirit of reading and imagination!”</p><p>“Yes, but-”</p><p>“I actually have to go but I’ll see you this afternoon? I need to ask you some more questions about the school fair coming up. Geralt has the day off so he’ll be helping out too. The Rivias pull their weight and I can’t wait to discuss it with you.” Jaskier turns to Olivia. “I’ll see you this afternoon. I want to get a picture of Ciri and Eric together so don’t leave before I see you! Bye!”</p><p>Jaskier walks off and if Rachel’s gaping mouth puts a little bounce in his step… who could blame him?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So as you can see Jaskier isn't in denial about what the PTA is like. He's embracing it, and the crazy mothers, because this is their first real chance of being normal. He also really likes Liv. Next chapter is going to be Geralt volunteering at the school fair and I am so excited to write it because so far we've just been in Jaskier's head. </p><p>Drop me a comment about what you thought of this chapter, message me @ snarky-starks on tumblr if you want a new friend and have a lovely day!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Subscribe, comment and hit kudos if you like this. I'm super friendly so don't be scared to hit me up on snarky-starks on tumblr.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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